Apparently you make a good broom.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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