I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
