New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
