The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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