Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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