Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
