you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
