Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
