someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize