why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
