he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
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This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
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We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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