whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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