i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
