um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
