p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
