I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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