You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize