I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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