Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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