Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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