at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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