hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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