He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
