i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
