I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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