every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
