she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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