No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
