It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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