it was like eating out sand paper
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Randomize
