You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
