so explain again why im purple
no
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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