we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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