Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
