It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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