The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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