New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
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I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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