She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
