okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He better not be in your backpack
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
