Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
