I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
