Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
