We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
