Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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