he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
