Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
