Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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