just come out here and I will go home with you...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
