Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
