Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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