I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Randomize