I looked at my own cervix.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She bit a glass in half.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
