im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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