I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
