Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
