You're completely useless in the revolution.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
