He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
