Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
