I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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