I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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