That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
