i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
