And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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